Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Fail is my Middle Name

Week 17 Weigh In
214.4 lbs
-0.1 lbs
Total this run: 9.4 lbs
Total from top: 32.6 lbs

To go: 79.4 lbs


Yeah. A grande point one of a pound in 4 weeks. Hoo. Rah.


I am so full of self loathing right now it makes me sick. It makes me want to eat. I fail, and then I fail harder, because I'm mad at myself for failing. Maybe I don't deserve to succeed, I must be telling myself. I ranted to the understanding ear of my husband last night, and he listened, rubbed my back, and kindly pointed out, "You sound like an alcoholic, but with food."


He added, "If you're feeling that depressed, you should probably go to the doctor. Or to church. I love you. I believe in you. I know you can do this. I wish you weren't so down on yourself."


So, how do you cope when you're feeling down? Do you eat? Do you sleep? Drink? Pray? Scream? Rant and rave? Cry? Some combination of the above?


Tomorrow is my week 18 weigh in. Grr.  

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