Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Plodding Along, Desperately

Week 2 Weigh In
214.8 lbs
-3.4 lbs
Total this run: 9lbs
Total from top: 32.2

To go: 79.8

Maybe it doesn't seem desperate to plod along, but that's exactly what it is, for me. 
To maintain some semblance of a normal relationship between food and exercise and life, I have to make it normal. Easy. Plodding. 

And I am positively desperate to keep my losing streak going. 

Last Thursday I got in my truck with the baby and I drove the hour to the nearest city with a Weight Watchers meeting. Wouldn't you know it, but Sharon, the lovely scale lady who made such an impact on me 8+ years ago, was still there! She recognized me, too, and had  big hug for me. 

Our nanny is leaving on January 30th, so I won't go to meetings for long. Maybe just long enough to get my attitude shifted back to where it needs to be. And maybe to learn the new PointsPlus program and start counting. I didn't count this week, but I did stick to the "Simply Filling" technique, and it worked for me. 

And can I share about the stress I'm feeling right now? With the nanny going home and no plans in place for child care... I'm back in the same boat as last year. I can't say "no" plans, because I have talked to my sister and two of our former babysitters about ongoing care. But life will shift from having an easy, predictable routine, one where I am free to go somewhere at 5am if I want to, or at 10pm. I no longer will have someone who helps get the dishes done, or randomly cleans my living room and vacuums it. Gone are the days of asking for help preparing for our many rounds of guests, or even reading to the kids while I get some more work done. 

Starting on January 31st, I will have to once again juggle full-time work with home schooling, housekeeping, parenting... and being the active housewife that I have always been.
The very thought of Superbowl, looming ahead on such a grand scale, has my gut rolling.

How will I handle it all? One thing is for sure - I can't quit planning to eat healthily. I can't quit exercising. I can't quit making my health a priority in my life. If I let it go, I won't gain weight, but I won't lose it, either. And that is what I really have to do. Now.

Once I've got less freedom to go places in the evenings, I'll probably rejoin Weight Watchers Online. 

Who knows? Maybe I'll do it on my own, this time. I certainly have the tools. All that's missing is the sticktuitivity. 

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My weight loss journey